I've been going back and forth about blogging lately.
I ask myself, "Do people really want to read what I think?"
But so what if they don't? It's therapeutic.
I'm really excited about this..so here it goes!
God has taught me SO much this school year.
He's taught me to rely on Him because He's really all that I need.
He's taught me to cherish those He's placed in my life.
He's taught me to love others the way He loves me.
And He's still teaching me how to not worry and let Him have control.
Relying on Him:
I depend on many things to get me through the day.
In the morning, I depend on Diet Coke to wake me up and get me going.
During the day, I depend on my friends to walk and talk with me.
At home, I depend on my parents for SO many things.
But I wasn't really dependent on God.
I wasn't relying on Him to get me through the day.
I thought I was relying on Him enough. But I was just settling for mediocrity.
Diet Coke is not the only thing I rely on in the mornings now.
I crave the 5 minutes I spend reading my Bible before 1st period.
My discipleship group is reading a Psalm a day to get us on the track to real commitment and dedication to spending time with God daily.
Today, I read Psalm 18. "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." (v.2)
I feel myself growing more dependent on God everyday, and I love it.
Cherishing and Loving People:
I am surrounded by people that love the Lord.
From my friends to my parents to adults within my church.
I am so blessed to have people to talk to that share my beliefs.
They give me perspectives that I don't always see.
I am so thankful for those perspectives.
God is showing me how to love people that aren't always so lovable.
Being a brutally honest control freak, I don't always handle situations well.
It's so easy for me to be mean when someone says or does something stupid.
Even more so in situations that I am in control of.
In yearbook for example, I have to constantly remind myself that I've been on staff for three years, while everyone else has been on it for 2 months.
So when they don't know how to make a senior ad or upload pictures, (even though that's easy for me) I still have to respond and teach them with love.
I'm learning to filter my thoughts and reactions.
After all, we're called to love everyone. Even if they can't make a senior ad.
Giving up:
I want to be in control of everything.
Sometimes this is good. When noone else wants to make homecoming plans, I gladly assume that position. But when people want to help me make homecoming plans, I can't handle it. Which is bad.
God's tugging at my desire for control, and though it's hard, I'm letting Him.
When I feel out of control, I worry.
Not just your typical worry, BIG TIME worry.
My worry might start out being about a simple math quiz, but at the end of the day, I'm worrying about every little thing. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Many can vouche for this.
And when I hit rock bottom, all I can do is pray and give it to God.
I pray constantly for peace. That peace that surpasses all understanding.
Peace in giving up control. Peace of mind when all I can do is worry.
Peace when I don't feel like being peaceful at all.
Like I said, I'm still in the process of learning that last topic.
I shouldn't have to hit rock bottom in order to let go of things that are out of my control. Pray as God continues to teach me.
Well, this has been fun. And super encouraging.
I hope I didn't just rant.
And even if I did, maybe my ranting has encouraged you as well.
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