Recently the Lord has shown me how truly blessed I am.
He has given me so much, and I take it for granted.
I am surrounded by precious Jesus-loving friends who encourage me and hold me accountable. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves God more than he could ever love me and makes sure that God is always in the center of our relationship. and I am so thankful that I have wonderful Christian parents (who are more like two of my best friends) that have raised me right.
It's so cliche to say that I'm so fortunate to live in America. but REALLY. At girl's retreat, we learned about different countries and the things that young girls go through. I could never even fathom being in a place where I didn't know about Jesus, much less a place where I could be sold into prostitution before I was even a teenager. I am so thankful for my church and my youth ministry and the people who make it all happen.
I have been trying to focus more on the ways that God has blessed me and He has surely shown me. Today, I went to lunch with some friends and we got to talk about our beliefs and missions and all kinds of things that just don't come up in typical conversations because we're too busy gossipping or speaking of things that do not bring glory to God. It was such a sweet time to share with these sisters. I am so thankful for them and that God has strategically placed them in my life. I can't imagine not being with some of them in just a few short months :( scary thought..let's put that one away for a while.
I've seen God's hand on everything lately, and it's just another blessing. I see it on me. I see it on my relationships. I see it guiding me through my day. I even see it when I don't want to see it. When all I want to do is be selfish and worry about how I want things to go, God shows me how He wants it to go. How could I ever disregard His plan for me when I know that nothing could ever be more perfect? Psalm 46:10 has been on my heart lately. "Be still and know that I am God." Sometimes I forget about the most common verses that I've known my entire life, but they're usually the exact message I need. We never take to time be still and listen to God. I've prayed for God to slow down my increasingly busy life so that I can take time to be still and listen for His gentle whisper.
Psalm 25
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they share be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.
Make me to know you ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!
Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
For your name's sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great. Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land. The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he make known to them his covenant. My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for he will pluck my feet out of the net.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.
Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me. Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.
Lord, that is my prayer. Let me be satisfied in your steadfast love. Do remember me and my stresses. Help me give them to you, God. I pray that you open my eyes even more to see how you have blessed me. Show me the needs of others around me and how to live and love like you and for you more each and every day. Thank you for making your presence even more prevalent in my life lately. I can't wait to see you even more.
Amen.
If you are unaware of how blessed you are, I encourage you to take a little while to think about what God has given you. It is truly earth-shattering.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
"Hey Lacey, this isn't about you."
Last night at church, we had our Disciple Now kickoff where we find out who will be leading worship and preaching at the actual event.
Beforehand, I found myself hoping for a certain band and guessing at who the speaker might be. I realized that the band that would be playing was from within our church, and honestly, I was bitter about it.
The first song was a song I knew from Summerquest and Kid's Camp. I was immediately disappointed and consumed with the fact that some of the songs we would be singing had motions that went with them.
I leaned to my friend and said, "I can't sing this song without doing the motions." and I was not okay with that.
However, after that song they played another song I was familiar with.
Hosanna by Hillsong. It's one of my favorites. But I was still bitter.
The words "Hosanna in the highest" were leaving my mouth, and my thoughts were suddenly consumed with the fact that it didn't matter who I wanted the band to be or what songs they were going to sing.
It was as if God just whispered in my ear and said, "Hey Lacey, this isn't about you." And it most certainly is not. It's about HIM.
Soon after, we found out who would be speaking. And my guess was correct.
Graham Hill. (I know him as the Student Life guy) I had never heard him preach before, but he had talked to us about camp before. I was THRILLED that he was going to be teaching us through the weekend.
However, I had a friend that was not so thrilled. I found myself inwardly scolding her for being bitter about the speaker, when I had just been bitter about the band minutes before. I wanted so badly for her to realize what I just had. It wasn't about me, and it wasn't about her.
DNow is not about the band, the speaker, my friends, the house I'm in, or getting a free water bottle. It's about the messages that come from the band and speaker. It's about learning about God and growing closer to Him.
You'd think I would have fully grasped this by my 6th DNow...
This verse was brought to my attention following the worship service.
"For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." -Philippians 2:13
HIS purpose. His GOOD purpose.
He knows exactly what He's doing.
Why do I question that so often?
I am SO consumed with planning things the way I want them.
I find myself planning for my future at least once a day.
I received the quilt for my dorm room today...10 months ahead of time.
I have every detail of my future wedding planned out...even the groom.
I was discussing this with a friend the other day.
She stopped me and said, "Well okay, Lace. And what about God's plan?"
Talk about an eye-opener..
In my mind, all of my plans seem perfect. But there's a problems there.
They're MY plans. My life doesn't go according to my plans.
It goes according to His. And maybe His plans are in sync with mine, but that shouldn't matter. They are His plans FOR me. Not my plans WITH Him.
Of course, this stresses me out.
I wish I wasn't a perfectionist.
I wish I wasn't a control freak.
I wish I could easily give everything to God.
We sang a song last night that said, "I'm restless until I rest in You."
This is so true for me.
I was so encouraged by the fact that God was pretty much throwing what I needed to know in my face. He'll do it if you ask Him.
I continue to pray for peace and willingness to give up control.
I want to value God's presence more than the things of this world.
In the words of Graham Hill, I want to have spiritual obesity.
And to feast on God's word like it's my favorite food.
Beforehand, I found myself hoping for a certain band and guessing at who the speaker might be. I realized that the band that would be playing was from within our church, and honestly, I was bitter about it.
The first song was a song I knew from Summerquest and Kid's Camp. I was immediately disappointed and consumed with the fact that some of the songs we would be singing had motions that went with them.
I leaned to my friend and said, "I can't sing this song without doing the motions." and I was not okay with that.
However, after that song they played another song I was familiar with.
Hosanna by Hillsong. It's one of my favorites. But I was still bitter.
The words "Hosanna in the highest" were leaving my mouth, and my thoughts were suddenly consumed with the fact that it didn't matter who I wanted the band to be or what songs they were going to sing.
It was as if God just whispered in my ear and said, "Hey Lacey, this isn't about you." And it most certainly is not. It's about HIM.
Soon after, we found out who would be speaking. And my guess was correct.
Graham Hill. (I know him as the Student Life guy) I had never heard him preach before, but he had talked to us about camp before. I was THRILLED that he was going to be teaching us through the weekend.
However, I had a friend that was not so thrilled. I found myself inwardly scolding her for being bitter about the speaker, when I had just been bitter about the band minutes before. I wanted so badly for her to realize what I just had. It wasn't about me, and it wasn't about her.
DNow is not about the band, the speaker, my friends, the house I'm in, or getting a free water bottle. It's about the messages that come from the band and speaker. It's about learning about God and growing closer to Him.
You'd think I would have fully grasped this by my 6th DNow...
This verse was brought to my attention following the worship service.
"For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." -Philippians 2:13
HIS purpose. His GOOD purpose.
He knows exactly what He's doing.
Why do I question that so often?
I am SO consumed with planning things the way I want them.
I find myself planning for my future at least once a day.
I received the quilt for my dorm room today...10 months ahead of time.
I have every detail of my future wedding planned out...even the groom.
I was discussing this with a friend the other day.
She stopped me and said, "Well okay, Lace. And what about God's plan?"
Talk about an eye-opener..
In my mind, all of my plans seem perfect. But there's a problems there.
They're MY plans. My life doesn't go according to my plans.
It goes according to His. And maybe His plans are in sync with mine, but that shouldn't matter. They are His plans FOR me. Not my plans WITH Him.
Of course, this stresses me out.
I wish I wasn't a perfectionist.
I wish I wasn't a control freak.
I wish I could easily give everything to God.
We sang a song last night that said, "I'm restless until I rest in You."
This is so true for me.
I was so encouraged by the fact that God was pretty much throwing what I needed to know in my face. He'll do it if you ask Him.
I continue to pray for peace and willingness to give up control.
I want to value God's presence more than the things of this world.
In the words of Graham Hill, I want to have spiritual obesity.
And to feast on God's word like it's my favorite food.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Lessons Learned (and still learning)
I've been going back and forth about blogging lately.
I ask myself, "Do people really want to read what I think?"
But so what if they don't? It's therapeutic.
I'm really excited about this..so here it goes!
God has taught me SO much this school year.
He's taught me to rely on Him because He's really all that I need.
He's taught me to cherish those He's placed in my life.
He's taught me to love others the way He loves me.
And He's still teaching me how to not worry and let Him have control.
Relying on Him:
I depend on many things to get me through the day.
In the morning, I depend on Diet Coke to wake me up and get me going.
During the day, I depend on my friends to walk and talk with me.
At home, I depend on my parents for SO many things.
But I wasn't really dependent on God.
I wasn't relying on Him to get me through the day.
I thought I was relying on Him enough. But I was just settling for mediocrity.
Diet Coke is not the only thing I rely on in the mornings now.
I crave the 5 minutes I spend reading my Bible before 1st period.
My discipleship group is reading a Psalm a day to get us on the track to real commitment and dedication to spending time with God daily.
Today, I read Psalm 18. "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." (v.2)
I feel myself growing more dependent on God everyday, and I love it.
Cherishing and Loving People:
I am surrounded by people that love the Lord.
From my friends to my parents to adults within my church.
I am so blessed to have people to talk to that share my beliefs.
They give me perspectives that I don't always see.
I am so thankful for those perspectives.
God is showing me how to love people that aren't always so lovable.
Being a brutally honest control freak, I don't always handle situations well.
It's so easy for me to be mean when someone says or does something stupid.
Even more so in situations that I am in control of.
In yearbook for example, I have to constantly remind myself that I've been on staff for three years, while everyone else has been on it for 2 months.
So when they don't know how to make a senior ad or upload pictures, (even though that's easy for me) I still have to respond and teach them with love.
I'm learning to filter my thoughts and reactions.
After all, we're called to love everyone. Even if they can't make a senior ad.
Giving up:
I want to be in control of everything.
Sometimes this is good. When noone else wants to make homecoming plans, I gladly assume that position. But when people want to help me make homecoming plans, I can't handle it. Which is bad.
God's tugging at my desire for control, and though it's hard, I'm letting Him.
When I feel out of control, I worry.
Not just your typical worry, BIG TIME worry.
My worry might start out being about a simple math quiz, but at the end of the day, I'm worrying about every little thing. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Many can vouche for this.
And when I hit rock bottom, all I can do is pray and give it to God.
I pray constantly for peace. That peace that surpasses all understanding.
Peace in giving up control. Peace of mind when all I can do is worry.
Peace when I don't feel like being peaceful at all.
Like I said, I'm still in the process of learning that last topic.
I shouldn't have to hit rock bottom in order to let go of things that are out of my control. Pray as God continues to teach me.
Well, this has been fun. And super encouraging.
I hope I didn't just rant.
And even if I did, maybe my ranting has encouraged you as well.
I ask myself, "Do people really want to read what I think?"
But so what if they don't? It's therapeutic.
I'm really excited about this..so here it goes!
God has taught me SO much this school year.
He's taught me to rely on Him because He's really all that I need.
He's taught me to cherish those He's placed in my life.
He's taught me to love others the way He loves me.
And He's still teaching me how to not worry and let Him have control.
Relying on Him:
I depend on many things to get me through the day.
In the morning, I depend on Diet Coke to wake me up and get me going.
During the day, I depend on my friends to walk and talk with me.
At home, I depend on my parents for SO many things.
But I wasn't really dependent on God.
I wasn't relying on Him to get me through the day.
I thought I was relying on Him enough. But I was just settling for mediocrity.
Diet Coke is not the only thing I rely on in the mornings now.
I crave the 5 minutes I spend reading my Bible before 1st period.
My discipleship group is reading a Psalm a day to get us on the track to real commitment and dedication to spending time with God daily.
Today, I read Psalm 18. "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." (v.2)
I feel myself growing more dependent on God everyday, and I love it.
Cherishing and Loving People:
I am surrounded by people that love the Lord.
From my friends to my parents to adults within my church.
I am so blessed to have people to talk to that share my beliefs.
They give me perspectives that I don't always see.
I am so thankful for those perspectives.
God is showing me how to love people that aren't always so lovable.
Being a brutally honest control freak, I don't always handle situations well.
It's so easy for me to be mean when someone says or does something stupid.
Even more so in situations that I am in control of.
In yearbook for example, I have to constantly remind myself that I've been on staff for three years, while everyone else has been on it for 2 months.
So when they don't know how to make a senior ad or upload pictures, (even though that's easy for me) I still have to respond and teach them with love.
I'm learning to filter my thoughts and reactions.
After all, we're called to love everyone. Even if they can't make a senior ad.
Giving up:
I want to be in control of everything.
Sometimes this is good. When noone else wants to make homecoming plans, I gladly assume that position. But when people want to help me make homecoming plans, I can't handle it. Which is bad.
God's tugging at my desire for control, and though it's hard, I'm letting Him.
When I feel out of control, I worry.
Not just your typical worry, BIG TIME worry.
My worry might start out being about a simple math quiz, but at the end of the day, I'm worrying about every little thing. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Many can vouche for this.
And when I hit rock bottom, all I can do is pray and give it to God.
I pray constantly for peace. That peace that surpasses all understanding.
Peace in giving up control. Peace of mind when all I can do is worry.
Peace when I don't feel like being peaceful at all.
Like I said, I'm still in the process of learning that last topic.
I shouldn't have to hit rock bottom in order to let go of things that are out of my control. Pray as God continues to teach me.
Well, this has been fun. And super encouraging.
I hope I didn't just rant.
And even if I did, maybe my ranting has encouraged you as well.
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