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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

another post about God's faithfulness

so, I was just reading this post from March.
a time of so much uncertainty.
a time when I had no choice but to trust God's plan.

I'll refresh your memory. I had just lost 3 opportunities that I thought were surefire. I didn't know what was in store for my summer or where I would be living my sophomore year. I remember my thoughts, actions, emotions so clearly. I remember every detail of those 3 moments and the days that followed them. the emotions are still fresh; tears came to my eyes as I read my words and remembered.

but then I remembered something better. something I've been thinking about for weeks and something I've become so unbelievably thankful for. I remembered this summer. and how the Lord changed my life. I didn't really think of it like that until 2 seconds ago. but He really did! so much happened. so much that wouldn't have happened if I had been at camp or chosen to be an RA...

the last week of freshman year, I started thinking about transferring schools. I wanted to live at home, go to a smaller school, and start over, leaving my disappointments in Auburn. so I began that process. everything was working out as it should. I started letting it slip to people outside of my family and best friends. there was excitement and peace in this. so I was convinced that I was going to be at Samford.

however, in the background of all this transferring excitement, my family was about to make a change. a few days after I got home from Auburn, my dad had an interview for an assistant coaching position at Alabama. pretty cool, but I was too busy thinking about my plans (and a little concerned about how a job at Alabama would affect them). long story short, Dad was offered and took the job. and with that job came a significant tuition break for me. a great deal, but you can imagine my hesitation. there I was, set on making the move back into my house and to Samford, and here comes a curve ball. Alabama had its perks, yes. but I wasn't too sure how I felt about possibly going to a school where they say those words (roll tide. bleeehhh!..just kidding, Dad and bama friends...kinda...war eagle.) but the thing was, it was still close to home. it was still a new start. my daddy would be there everyday. it definitely wasn't smaller, but it became more and more of a possibility as the days went on. and then one day, it became the decision. I decided going to Alabama was the best choice. I told my friends about the mind change. there was that excitement again! it was final. there was apartment hunting, and there were advisor meetings. the word spread and pretty soon, everyone I knew, knew about my change.

and then I went to Arkansas to see Chelsey. it was such a sweet time of catching up with my best friend who only knew of all this change through letters and phone calls. what a gem she is! she was beyond supportive of whatever it was I decided to do, even if it meant saying those goodbyes we had only ever joked about. we stayed up late and talked all this transferring business out. we weighed the pros and cons for a few hours. no decision was made right then and there, but I knew. I had time away from Hoover. away from people's questions and opinions. and this really helped me make a very big personal decision. (a little background: I had already been second guessing my decision on the 8 hour drive. Auburn isn't a force to be reckoned with, and I was really starting to miss it) I knew that transferring wasn't going to solve my problems. I knew that I was wearing crimson colored glasses and didn't let myself think about the cons of going to Alabama (except for the fact that I would be surrounded by bammers...I thought about that one a lot). I decided about 30 minutes after leaving ozark that I wasn't going to Alabama. I even registered for my new Auburn parking pass on my phone!

I got home and told my parents and that was that. and clearly, I stuck with Auburn. word spread like wildfire again. obviously, I really like to keep everyone on their toes! :) there are still a few confused people out there who think I go to Alabama, but I'm in Auburn and THANK GOODNESS!

BUT Y'ALL, that's not even the best part. the best part is God's plan. the best part is God's FAITHFULNESS! the best part is that I didn't get my way. my faith in God's plan was restored this summer. my self-esteem was restored this summer. my relationships within my family grew this summer. I got to work in the coolest store ever this summer. I got to help friends prepare for college and lead a group of middle school girls this summer. this summer was a BLESSING! that sounds so simple. but oh my goodness, it's so much bigger than a word and all caps doesn't begin do it justice. none of those things would have happened if I had gotten my way. sure, my location didn't end up changing, but my heart did. and that's what needed to happen.

since coming back to Auburn, the Lord has made it so clear that I am exactly where I need to be. that I was exactly where I needed to be last year, even when I felt super lost. He's so good. He's so faithful! and that's why I'm writing this. not because I want everyone to know what's going on in my life. but because I want everyone to know that God is faithful. that He doesn't make mistakes. that He's such a good God! I am so thankful to have this summer and last year as a constant reminder of just how faithful He is and that I can always trust His will.

so yeah. sorry for rambling on, but I needed to share this with more people than those I eat lunch or get coffee with!

"I have had great experience of God's hearing my prayers and returning comfortable answers to me, either in granting the things I prayed for or else in satisfying my mind without it. And I have been confident that it hath been from Him, because I have found my heart, through His goodness, enlarged in thankfulness to Him." - Anne Bradstreet