"Hey Lacey, this isn't about you."

Last night at church, we had our Disciple Now kickoff where we find out who will be leading worship and preaching at the actual event.


Beforehand, I found myself hoping for a certain band and guessing at who the speaker might be. I realized that the band that would be playing was from within our church, and honestly, I was bitter about it.
The first song was a song I knew from Summerquest and Kid's Camp. I was immediately disappointed and consumed with the fact that some of the songs we would be singing had motions that went with them.
I leaned to my friend and said, "I can't sing this song without doing the motions." and I was not okay with that.
However, after that song they played another song I was familiar with.
Hosanna by Hillsong. It's one of my favorites. But I was still bitter.
The words "Hosanna in the highest" were leaving my mouth, and my thoughts were suddenly consumed with the fact that it didn't matter who I wanted the band to be or what songs they were going to sing.
It was as if God just whispered in my ear and said, "Hey Lacey, this isn't about you." And it most certainly is not. It's about HIM.
Soon after, we found out who would be speaking. And my guess was correct.
Graham Hill. (I know him as the Student Life guy) I had never heard him preach before, but he had talked to us about camp before. I was THRILLED that he was going to be teaching us through the weekend.
However, I had a friend that was not so thrilled. I found myself inwardly scolding her for being bitter about the speaker, when I had just been bitter about the band minutes before. I wanted so badly for her to realize what I just had. It wasn't about me, and it wasn't about her.


DNow is not about the band, the speaker, my friends, the house I'm in, or getting a free water bottle. It's about the messages that come from the band and speaker. It's about learning about God and growing closer to Him.
You'd think I would have fully grasped this by my 6th DNow...


This verse was brought to my attention following the worship service.
"For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."  -Philippians 2:13


HIS purpose. His GOOD purpose.
He knows exactly what He's doing.
Why do I question that so often?


I am SO consumed with planning things the way I want them.
I find myself planning for my future at least once a day.
I received the quilt for my dorm room today...10 months ahead of time.
I have every detail of my future wedding planned out...even the groom.
I was discussing this with a friend the other day.
She stopped me and said, "Well okay, Lace. And what about God's plan?"
Talk about an eye-opener..
In my mind, all of my plans seem perfect. But there's a problems there.
They're MY plans. My life doesn't go according to my plans.
It goes according to His. And maybe His plans are in sync with mine, but that shouldn't matter. They are His plans FOR me. Not my plans WITH Him.


Of course, this stresses me out.
I wish I wasn't a perfectionist.
I wish I wasn't a control freak.
I wish I could easily give everything to God.


We sang a song last night that said, "I'm restless until I rest in You."
This is so true for me.


I was so encouraged by the fact that God was pretty much throwing what I needed to know in my face. He'll do it if you ask Him.

I continue to pray for peace and willingness to give up control.
I want to value God's presence more than the things of this world.
In the words of Graham Hill, I want to have spiritual obesity.
And to feast on God's word like it's my favorite food.